So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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