brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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