ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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