remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
