RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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