Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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