I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
