Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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