I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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