Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
