dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
