he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize