How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
