Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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