Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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