what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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