Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
