Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
