kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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