I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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