2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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