Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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