just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
