shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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