I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
