no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
