No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He felt like a one man threesome
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
