been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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