He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize