It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize