If that was your dad, he is hot
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
