Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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