Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
