Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
