I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize