In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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