Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
