so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize
