are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
