I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
