Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
