No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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