I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
