I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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