I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Cover your peen. We're going out.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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