I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
