"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize