Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
