Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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