we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
