My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
