dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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