you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
