His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
