oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
