my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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