currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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