Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
