i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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