my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
