I think i peed on brittanys purse
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
