walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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