I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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