We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
