Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
