The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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