I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize