he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize