so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
