He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
