This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
