I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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